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Thursday, 24 September 2009

Currently
The Sewing Circles of Herat : A Personal Voyage Through Afghanistan
By Christina Lamb
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feeding the birds...

I was with Julia and Llewelyn this morning and afternoon. It was a warm and sunny day, so I thought we'd eek out the last of summer by going to the park for a picnic. Very good idea. As we were sitting on the blanket, Julia picked up a slice of bread from her sandwich and shredded it into pieces on the ground. I wasn't going to let her eat it, so I picked up the pieces and thought to myself, "we should feed the birds with this."

This triggered my mind to think about an event I went to on Monday night. It was the Veritas Forum at Columbia University. It was a panel on Modern-day Slavery and the panelists were Nicholas Kristoff from The New York Times and Kaign Christy of International Justice Mission. Kristoff told a story of a former NGO worker, who had spent much of her life working in some of the hardest places in the world, seeing injustices of all sorts. She did well in these places and held up emotionally strong. However, it was only when she came back to the States that she had an emotion breakdown. The incident happened while she was helping her grandmother in the garden. She looked up and saw birds congregating by the bird feeder. At this, she started to weep uncontrollably. Her observation that caused such a response was this: We live in a country that is so well off that we can even afford to buy seed to feed birds, and yet there are places in the world where people can't even afford to buy food for their children. I forget exactly what the context of Kristoff's vignette was...but I think it was a challenge to see beyond the comfort that we live in.

As I remembered that today, I reflected on my own experience as I was happily enjoying a day at the park with the girls. I remembered that I had a turning point of how I thought about injustices during last year's visit to Afghanistan. Previous to that, whenever I had gone overseas and encountered people living in poverty or other hardships, I always came back to the States feeling a sense of guilt and a spirit of judgment. I felt guilty for having the life that I've had and I was judging those of us who have enjoyed the benefits of living in the first world and yet there is still a general feel of emptiness in our society. I'm not sure what exactly caused the turning point, but in that visit to Afghanistan, instead of coming back bemoaning the comforts of the West and my relatively happy and easy life, I came back desiring for the people of Afghanistan to enjoy the same comforts that I have been given---a secure home, a chance for education, never worrying about true hunger, a general sense that there are people who are for me, that there is a future to look forward too, a chance to dream big, etc. I had (have) a desire that the children of Afghanistan (or anywhere for that matter) would one day experience the same things that Julia and Llewelyn do...wonderful childhoods, where they feel completely loved and secure in the world...so that they can run around in the grass as if running around in the grass was the most exciting thing to do ever, so that they can swing and feel the rush of wind in their hair, so that they can sit and eat juicy grapes...so they will one day look back at their childhoods and be thankful for how happy it was and then desire the same for others.

The further point to develop is the recognition that all these things that I have been blessed with can't stop with me. I'm not sure if the word is "responsibility," as Kristoff used...but there is a sense in me that it's not about my own comfort and it's not about working for other's comfort so that they can just be comfortable...but so that their chains can be broken...chains being the things that hold people back from reaching the potential that God desires for them, to live fully as they were created, and chains also being injustices...perhaps those two things aren't all that different. At this moment, I recognize that I have been freed so that others may be freed...whether their chains are physical, emotional, or spiritual. I don't have the time at the moment to develop that point too much further, as dinner needs to get on the table.

I'll close with a comment I sent to Luke during the event:
"It is good to remember how my heart beats for this--to feel the tears pool and the sense of injustice rise. Sometimes it can get buried amidst the everyday normalcy of life. I suppose that is normal. A blessing or curse? Perhaps neither, perhaps both."

It was good to rediscover these thoughts even in the midst of a normal day.

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Currently
The Sewing Circles of Herat : A Personal Voyage Through Afghanistan
By Christina Lamb
see related
Tinkerbell...

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This morning, I took Julia (age 2) for a little walk to the bank, which is just about 3 blocks away. I like walks with Julia. Slow and meandering. We say "hi" to the neighbors and birds. We stop to look around and sometimes crouch down to see what we can find. Today, we found a snail, a rock, a stick, and some leaves.

On the way home we passed by a house that has a small Jesus statue on the lawn. Julia stopped and marveled at the figure before pointing to it and saying, "look! it's Tinkerbell!" :)

Humorous, but perhaps a commentary too?

Tuesday, 07 July 2009

confessions...

Today, I was in Jackson Heights for my English Conversation Group. Right as I got out of my car, I was inundated by a crowd of at least 200 teenagers, who were clearly visiting from out of town. They took up the whole street for several minutes and walked very slowly. I scowled at them for a few seconds. I think some of them noticed.

So much for being a friendly New Yorker.
;)

I hope it's OK for each of us to have a cranky evening.

Thursday, 02 July 2009

Currently
God of This City
By Passion
Hosanna
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glimpses of beauty...

So, it's been a really amazing few days. I could probably write pages and pages to record all of it, but I'm just going to jot down some blurbs for you to get a feel of the beauty I've experienced these past few days.

1) Liz
Jonathan and Liz just went off to the hospital a few minutes ago for Liz to have her surgery to remove the cancer from her body. I've been around to see all of this unfold in a cascade these past few weeks. I was here last night to spend the night so I could be here for the girls when they wake up this morning. I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the story that God is writing in their lives. In the midst of something so difficult, when their individual hearts are challenged and when the vows they made to each other 7+ years ago are being test, they have shone like bright stars. They have resolved that Jesus is the source of all comfort and peace. He has not failed them.

2) Bryant Park
Yesterday evening, Kevin, Craig, JoLayne, and I went out to Bryant Park to talk to strangers in the park. Our agenda was to ask if people needed prayer for anything in their lives and then to potentially talk about deeper spiritual things, if the doors opened up for that. I paired off with Kevin and we went for it. Since it was my first time to do this sort of thing in the city, he gave me the freedom to just listen and observe. Two things that I excel at. ;) It was a wonderful time. Of the two people we approached, two agreed to be prayed for and we ended up having extended conversations with both. How rarely listening ears are rejected. I was struck by the beauty of connecting on a human level with strangers on the street. Although we have a definite message that we desire to share, the motivation is love and a desire for the people we meet to understand the deep, deep love of God. There was also immense beauty in brothers and sisters coming together to be Christ's ambassadors in this city.

3) The O's
Prior to yesterday, I had spent a few days in Missouri with Luke's extended family. I believe they were one of the most wonderful and beautiful families I've had the chance to spend time with. They just really, really enjoy one another. There was no shortage of hugs, laughs, and time spent together- just talking, praying, playing, eating, etc. Not only is there such incredible beauty in how they love one another, but this love extends to and embraces all those that encounter the family. It was wonderful to enter into that.

4) Robert
I thoroughly love everyone in Luke's family, but this time I was particularly struck by his father, who I had only met briefly a previous time. The way that he fathers and loves his children is a beautiful thing. His fierce love and care is conveyed in patiently and softly spoken words, which strengthen and encourage his children. I gathered this from what I observed and in the stories that Barbara told me in the car rides to go food shopping. There were times of being a part of this where I was just overwhelmed to tears. Passages of Scripture describing the love of our heavenly Father kept coming to mind...if there is an earthly father that can be this great and loving, how much MORE it is with our heavenly Father.

5) Barbara
I've known Luke's mother for several years now and I am continually amazed by how beautiful she is inside and outside. She is a woman who finds her strength of heart in the Lord, which is manifested in quietness and gentleness, which in turn lets her be comfort and encouragement to her husband, children, family, friends, and even strangers. She really just radiates.

6) Luke
OK...though I share pretty freely on this blog, this is probably more personal than even I'm comfortable with, but I would be hiding a large chunk of my thoughts if I were to decline to write this. However, I will just keep it short for all of our sakes:
Seeing the heart of a man in the way that he loves his family is a beautiful thing. Seeing the heart of a man who has little children flock to him is a beautiful thing. Seeing the heart of a man in the way that he values you as a woman is a beautiful thing to experience. Seeing the heart of a man who has decided to follow Jesus with his whole heart and life is a beautiful thing. I count it a privilege to be invited to see it.

So those are the major themes these past few days. I hope I have not cheapened the word 'beauty' by using it so much in this one entry, but I have no other word to use right now. My heart feels full, even in the midst of some serious things. I imagine (and recall) that life will not always be like this, but I will enjoy this while it lasts and ask to be built up through it so that I can stand in coming waves, whenever and whatever they will be---that I may stand firm in the One who has made all these things beautiful and be a carrier of His beauty for any situation.

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Currently
Hello Love
By Chris Tomlin
I Will Rise
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a great day...

One thing I think is cool about the early start time of races is that the day is quiet then and there's not much going on in the streets. As I drove along the LIE, rain pouring, I could just let the quiet sink in as I mentally prepared for the race. There were few others on the road and the other few had bikes mounted to their cars, so I knew where they were heading as well.

I got to the race site and to my surprise there were already hundreds of cars parked in the lot. It was still raining by then so I really didn't expect a lot of people...but we triathletes are a little crazy I think...

I arrived at the park and realized that I had forgotten to put my watch on. Another indicator of how unprepared I was for this race.

I pulled into my spot in the lot and proceeded to unload my gear. As I pulled my race shirt out of my bag, my shorts fell into a puddle. I had a good chuckle. It wasn't a big deal, I was wearing shorts already, just not the ones I intended for the race.

As I walked up to race start, I was informed that the health department had canceled the swim because the water was contaminated by the nearby run off, due to so much rain. Oh well. I was a little disappointed, but kind of glad because I was already cold from the rain and the water was COLDER. I had my wetsuit with me, but I was REALLY nervous about it because I hadn't put it on in a long time and the last time, it was already snug...this time, I wasn't sure how I'd do...

So it was a run, bike, run instead. Not quite as exciting, but still good.

As I got closer to transition, I could hear music and see people unpacking and getting ready and I started to get more and more excited. I unpacked and readied my gear for transitions and stuck my wallet and phone in a waterproof case so the rain wouldn't get in them.

Got my chip and did my pre-race ritual of milling around aimlessly in circles and looking at no one and nothing in particular. Ate a peach and went to the bathroom. The poorly planned port-a-potty situation resulted in a 20 minute race start delay. :)

I got to start in the first wave of racers. Easy 1.5 mile run. Transition to bike, which was a lot harder than I remember. Transition back to run. Which was a lot harder this time around. Whew!

By half way through the first run, I saw the first bikers going out. By the middle of my ride, there were bikers from the 5th wave passing me. By the middle of the second run a few men who looked like they were in their 50's and 60's were speeding by me. :) oh well.

The run, bike, run format makes for a more crowded race because people aren't as spaced out. I like having the space sometimes.

I let my mind sit on the previously mentioned Isaiah verse a lot, as well as "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin. Something I love about racing is the time to just be undisturbed in thought sometimes.

Overall I came in 540 of 1200. Overall time of 1:32 for a 1.5mi run, 12mi bike, 3mi run. Not too bad. I feel like it was a good race. Splits were 16:48 (slow because we were running into rain and wind), 43:46, and 27:22. Each transition took about 2 min. It wasn't a super hard race, but definitely a good workout.

It was fun driving away and all these cars with bikes mounted hit the LIE around the same time. I felt like I was part of some secret club.

It was a good start to my day. :) The rest of the day got better and better. Though a little sore in the knee.

Today's race was dedicated to my dad for father's day and my mom, who passed away 8 years ago today.